doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
