just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
