Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
