u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
