I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Alive.
So much puke
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
