Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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