is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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