it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
