margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
