Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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