i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
