The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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