I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
