btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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