i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
