Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
