is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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