Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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