Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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