It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
