Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
