Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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