he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
