I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
