I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Randomize
