Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
