Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
