There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
