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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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