Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch

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(915): View more from Texas

What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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(913): View more from Kansas

You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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(305): View more from Florida

Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

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(630): View more from Illinois

You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to know

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(514): View more from Quebec

It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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(404): View more from Georgia

I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM

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