This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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