We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
only you would photoshop your dick
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ass is underappreciated
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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