I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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