party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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