handjob tips. give me some.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm at about main and main street
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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