I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
