Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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