thus making me awesome and them whores
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
