it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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