I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
