i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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