the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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