yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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