Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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