I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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