When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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