Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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