dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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