you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize