piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
