yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
